


just friends being pals

by KirstieJ



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Talk about pubic hair, rants about gender expectations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 10:30:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7841311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirstieJ/pseuds/KirstieJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know you’re in for a good friendship when your third real life conversation consists of talking about pubic hair and gender expectations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just friends being pals

“You sure this is okay, bro?” Larissa, recently dubbed ‘Lardo’ by a guy named ‘Shitty’, asks as she totes a purple polka-doted bag walking into ‘the Haus’ where Shitty lives. She’s got a little hair towel draped over her arm.

“Of course, brah. I live here.”

“How?” Larissa scrunches her nose. She knew hockey dudes were disgusting when she and Shitty first started messaging each other through facebook, but this is just… fucked. The place is practically falling apart beneath her well worn converse and it’s downright nasty.

“Comfortably,” Shitty insists, as he takes her upstairs to the bathroom. “Man, I shoulda waited and taken you on the tour with the frogs of the team.”

“I can’t even fucking skate, dude, I’m not a hockey player. And you literally just said it was okay for me to come in right this second.”

“All true,” Shitty says with a shrug. He leads her into the bathroom he shares with Jack Zimmermann, a name that holds absolutely no meaning to Larissa Duan beyond him being yet another freakishly tall guy Shitty hangs out with. Larissa liked Jack when she met him, quiet and polite, unlike most of the brutes on Shitty’s team. Not that she minds most of the brutes, either, except the one who eyed her like candy. Shitty had noticed and steered her behind a guy named Ransom who was a frog like her and sweet as could be.

She just sighs as he sits on the toilet seat, lighting up a joint. She unbuttons her grey cut-offs and slides them down her legs, revealing tight green and black boyshorts. She sits on the tub and runs her legs under water, rubbing them to feel the more-than-stubbly hair there.

“Remind me why it’s such an urgent need for you to shave your legs that you willingly stepped foot in this hockey bro haven?”

“I got a date tonight, Shits.”

“So what?”

“So if I happen to get laid, which probably won’t even fucking happen, I gotta shave my legs.”

“See, that’s stupid. I’ve never once had to shave my legs for a date. It’s fucked up, that’s all I’m saying.”

Larissa looks back at him, moving to sit with one leg on each side of the tub, shutting off the water while she grabs her shaving cream and razor. She gives the bottle a little shake.

“Well, I mean, I like having my legs shaved when I fuck people,” Lardo says, as if she’s slept with more than one person in her life. “It just makes the mood better, and that’s for me. If I were really doing it for the other person, I’d-“

Lardo’s quiet voice gets cut off by the door being opened. “Shitty, are you seriously hotboxing the bathroom again? We’ve been here for a week and half, you have you own fucking r-“

Jack shuts his mouth mid-rant when he sees a girl sitting on the tub with one leg covered in shaving cream.

“Oh. Uh. Sorry.”

“No problem, man. We’re obviously not worrying about privacy in here,” Larissa rolls her eyes and just starts to shave. Jack stands there, stunned.

“You were saying, Lards?” Shitty says, taking a puff from his joint.

“If I were shaving for someone else, I’d probably shave my bush too, right? But fuck that, I have literally never gone there. Not with a razor, not with wax. I sometimes trim it a bit with scissors but the last time I did I knicked my labia and noped the fuck outta there with that too. Fucking bullshit.”

“That fucking sucks. Like, seriously, that shit is fucking scary. Who in their right mind puts a blade or hot wax near their private-est of bits? I mean, yeah, people have the freedom to do whatever with their bodies but when society is emphasizing being hairless like a fucking kid or something it’s what becomes ‘normal’, and the people who don’t do it are made to feel weird and shameful.”

“Yeah. It’s hateful,” Larissa mutters.

Jack is still standing there, wordless.

“Bro, you shave your junk?” Shitty asks him, then holds out the joint. Jack holds up his hand to decline the offer.

“Uh,” Jack says. “Well, I tried one time. I guess it really does make it look… bigger. But it wasn’t worth the upkeep.”

“Mh, that’s fair.”

“There’s a lot less pressure for guys to care about that,” Jack says, and the other two make noises of agreement.

Larissa moves onto her other leg, wondering how the fuck she ended up talking to two hockey-playing bros about how she accidentally cut part of her vag this one time. College really is a fucking trip, huh? It’s only her second week in.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I am actually shaving because I want to. And, yeah, I do sometimes feel like I should also be waxing my box because that’s what chicks do, but I value that area too much to go through with it. If a dude, or a woman, doesn’t like it, then the don’t deserve to fuck me.”

“Hell yeah, fuckin’ preach. Damn, I’m so psyched you’re this cool,” Shitty says. “It’s such a total sausage fest around here all the time, and not that I don’t love hanging with the dudes, but I just feel we need a more feminine perspective sometimes.” Meanwhile, Jack pops back into his room, having lingered for long enough on Shitty’s bizarre conversation with Larissa.

Larissa snorts, “Okay, but I mean, obviously I don’t really fit into the ideal of, like, what a woman is supposed to be like. I don’t mind being referred to as a lady in, like, casual settings but I get irate when someone tells me to act more lady-like or to stop cursing. Unless there’s kids nearby in the second case, because I mean, I don’t want to corrupt the ears of small children. Whatever, you know what I’m saying.” Larissa stands up and grabs her towel, drying off her recently shaved legs.

“Oh, no, that’s not what I meant. I don’t want to fit you into any sort of prescribed notion of what it means to be a woman. Like, hell, if you even wanted to say you don’t feel like you’re completely a woman I would be totally cool with that.”

Larissa looks up, her expression straight. “Thanks,” she says. “I mean, I am. A woman. Just not a very lady-like one. I might be the sort of bra-burning type, if you will, but a woman.”

Shitty just nods, “I will accept you in any capacity, Lards. Promise.”

“You’re a sweet guy, Shits,” Lardo says in a quiet voice. He just grins at her.

“Do you have any lotion?” she asks a second later, standing up.

“Uhh..” Shitty says. A moment later, Jack pops back in.

“I have body cream in the mirror, left hand side. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be eavesdropping or anything.”

“Bro. Not a problem,” Lardo says, going over to the mirror. She takes out the big bottle of unscented lotion Jack has, squirting some into her palms to rub on her legs.

“Oh, dude, is that why your hands are always so fucking soft?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess? My skin gets super dry in the winter so I end up using it a lot once it gets kind of cold out.”

“Sick,” Shitty says.

“You can use some if you like,” Jack says, hand on the doorframe.

“Really dude? Sweet. You’re such a beaut, Zimmermann.”

“Thanks,” Jack says, shaking his head. He leaves again before he can get dragged further into the conversation.

“Alright,” Lardo says, stepping back over to her shorts and pulling them up. “Thanks man, I definitely owe you. Stupid frog dorms and their constantly occupied showers.”

“Any time, Lardo, any time at all. You’re a bro now, there’s no escape.”

Lardo rolls her eyes, “Excuse you, I’ve always been a bro.”

“Touché, but you’re _my_ bro now, and that’s something special.”

Lardo grins, “I believe it. I gotta get going, gonna redo my eyeliner for the date cause this shit is from yesterday. I like to be a little classy when I’m going out, y’know,” she rolls her eyes in addition to her smirk and Shitty laughs, standing up from the toilet.

“We’re done in here, Jack, if you actually wanted to use it or something.”

“No I just wanted to fucking sit in there and stare at the wall,” Jack replies. Actually, he has to piss like you wouldn’t believe, which is why he barged in in the first place. Somehow he thinks barging into bathrooms is going to be commonplace living with Shitty and three other hockey players, though.

“Hah!” Shitty calls, and he walks Lardo to the door. “Hey,” he says, and she turns to him with a brow perked up.

“Yeah?”

“Text me if you need anything, alright? Like, for example, if your date’s a fucking creep I’ll come bail you out, no questions asked. And that goes for, like, any date ever.”

“Gotcha,” Lardo nods. “I can take care of myself, Shitty.”

“Yeah, I know, I can tell,” Shitty says sincerely. “Still, though, you’re just a frog around here and I’m your friend. I want you to know I got your back. That’s sort of a saying the team here has, and even though you’re not a hockey player it extends to you.”

“Bro, fuck off with all your feelings,” Lardo says with a laugh. “I get it, you’re a nice guy who just wants people to be safe and happy. I promise I’ll text if I need anything.”

“That’s all I ask,” Shitty says with his hands up. “I can’t help that I’m sensitive, man, don’t pick on me.”

Lardo laughs a little more. “Nah, you’re a good dude. Now let me go get ready.”

“Okay okay okay,” Shitty says. “Make sure that guy respects you before you let him put is dick in you,” he yells at her as she walks away and she flips him off.

“Fuck off, Shits,” she says.

“Be safe! If he doesn’t wrap it, he doesn’t tap it, Lardo!” Shitty yells louder, even though she’s only taken three more steps.

“I know, Jesus, my school did actually have a decent sex ed!”

“You’re one of the lucky ones, then,” Shitty yells back and Lardo just groans, half running away from the Haus so Shitty will shut the fuck up. He laughs his ass off as she jogs away. She’ll be back, sometime after her date, maybe the next day or the day after. He hopes so, anyway. He won’t lie and say he doesn’t get attached to people really fucking quickly and he likes Lardo a lot.

Thankfully, although she doesn’t get attached nearly as quickly, Larissa likes Shitty a lot, too.


End file.
